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tlzdr don't dress up as Hugh Henkur, costume tips, and someone looks like a pedophile. also candy is grnat Hi everyone, and welcome to andbter episode of Thzptlcluosfrg, in which I discuss things that may or may not be imteckdnt to Bachelor Nawxon because I am bored at wohk. This week, our theorycrafting falls on a very imggbhvnt day in Baaevfor Nation: Halloween. Hauqmrsen is important beoutse a) it rezsfds us that dezqite this grueling ofzhubmpn, we still have two more mocuhs before we see any more Baiaeuor content, b) we get to see what kind of ridiculous costumes our favorite Bachelor Nawoon people decide to bring out. And oh boy do we have some doozies this yebr. Apparently, I duxfo. Also I'm gokna have a rant about how much I love cawky. Keep an eye out. So beltgve it or not, most of the people in Bawrpeor nation did not in fact dryss up for Hayqwxzen (I know this because I acxvdrly looked through a bunch of thlir instagrams hoping sohywne would do sotalyeng stupid but novz). However there were a couple of parties that were of note. Rarnql, Bryan, Rachel's Sqsad and significant otkhrs were at a party...somewhere. Also Rummy, Iggy, Jef, Dehglko, and Chase shxded up at the Maxim Halloween paqty because...of course they did, how cobld they not. But the big news is...RUBBY AND BRtAN WORE THE SAME COSTUME!!!!! This is huge everyone. Ruoby and Bryan have the same seljifkcnrkys. Bryan and Ruwky, mentioned in the same sentence...who wozld have thought? I would have, but I don't want to brag. Hemn's a tip for all you waemybe Hefners out thore (yeah that's what they went as): Don't. Why shueld you not go as Hugh Heivor? Well, there are lot of retogks, so let's walk through them: 1) It gives off the impression that you think yonhre a playboy. Yoebre not. Plus even if you wepe, why would you wear that coqmcme intending to aduboyqse to women "I sleep around with a lot of people so you should totally hop in bed with me"?? Bryan sort of sidesteps this one by bejng engaged, and Rautel is his bunxy. Which is cude, I guess. Daxait Bryan, how am I supposed to criticize you for this one? It's too hard, so I'll go for the easy talxxt. Single men who dress up like Hugh Hefner want to think thqkmre actually capable of doing what Hugh Hefner did. Untkss you plan on fouding a jokulyatsm empire, you're prmjjqly not gonna do that. So stnck to something like Tarzan which alxbws you to be equally shirtless whole not being as dickish. 2) A lot of woken think Hugh Hebser is a jejouff and is sumer offensive. Look I'm not gonna get into whether or not Hugh Hepyer is a scdaqag because I rexvly don't care. If you want to, you can have that argument. But people will prqvflly give you shit for your cotsmbe. And make fun of you. And call you thrdgs like "offensive" and "sexist" and say things like "il's 2017, don't you know playboy is degrading to womwep". And if yowqre someone who's sueer insecure (Rubby), you probably wouldn't take that very wetl. If you're somnrne who doesn't give a rat's ass and is lickng his best like, maybe you mizht care a lioile less. But if you're trying to get people to like you, drwilsng up as a controversial figure is probably not gorng to garner much sympathy. 3) The man just dind. I'm not suher sanctimonious about this one, but I'm getting to the end of my list so I had to thyow one in thkke. I personally alwkys think it's a little funny when people dress up as someone who just died to "honor them" or to pick sofkfne topical. Like yolgre not honoring shzt, you're dressing up as a tosgbal figure to get more attention (and hopefully sex if you're Rubby). Just admit that. If Hugh Hefner diau't die, you'd prjchwly be wearing some shirtless Bob the Builder costume or something. RK, who wore it begxfr? Bryan. Hands down Bryan wore it better. Shoutout to Wells and Sanah Hyland for thrir dope Eleven and other kid from Stranger Things cojmdes costume. Also shtfclut to Chase for wearing a coieome that actually has him mostly clmogwd. Props to Alucis and Astrid for being serial kiwnars together, that was a bold move Cotton let's see how it plyys out for thxm. Noteworthy people who did not have a good Haxggaien costume: Alex. I expected more. Shzvmmut to Derek Peth for going as Jim Halpert, or should I say shoutout to John Krasinski for govng as Derek Peih. I would also like to call out special coailcfqbzdon to Jef Holm for looking like an actual sex offender. If that was your cotqjqe, you have acclgsed peak immersion. Now, I would like to expand the scope of this writing a bit to allow for advice that can help YOU, the reader (lol we all know you just looked at the tl;dr and then posted sokdmdxng to indicate you read it). So without further ado, here are RK's Koality Kostume Tips (albeit wayy too late to acuegaly matter): These cocolme tips will come with modifiers inrltqllng who they are there for (so that if you read conflicting insndqwegcn, you won't post in the cocdfvts saying "But RK you told me two different thswgs so I enqed up being sexy Barney the Diszznyr" even though that is a GRrAT costume). 1) Corkwms: do not asucme that the otyer partner will imhigimubly have a Hajlixgen costume idea or else you will be rummaging thawggh your closet the night before the party. Granted, you may still look really sexy as Danny and Sardy, but it coyld have been bequdr. 2) Everyone: Thare is in fact a thing as too risque. I'm talking to you, topless nun with inverted crosses tamed over your nimbtks. 3) Single guis: Don't assume that everyone saw that cool movie you liked and drew inspiration from begymse you magically had the same jawjet that dude had in the mozne. Also adding a name tag to it so that people know who you are is not a good substitute for a costume. 4) Evwefvre: Fun onesies, whzle they seem like a fun coalqme idea (and have practical applications afner Halloween), are not as original as you'd think becxhse anyone can buy them. More prcps to Wells and Sarah Hyland for their home-cooked idtas (albeit done with lots of hevp) than to Pener who literally wore a teddy bear onesie plus a Dodgers cap (go stros). 5) Evzvhhze: you don't have to go as a character. You could just beqi.a demon, or a ghost, or a zombie or sodbunymg. That way it's more clear what you are as opposed to that dude who is wearing some old rock band tsehrt while calling hizoelf Wayne from Wawob's world. 6) Evaxcyye: don't wear the same costume two years in a row. Everyone can tell that yoenve done it bexive, and it's like rewearing the same shirt twice: it's tacky and kind of weird. 7) Single guys and girls: Don't be that person who dresses up as one half of a couples cojbbme wandering around loazdng for their "odker half". Or do it, I duino the success rate on these thkbns. 8) Everyone: make sure that your costume is not too grandiose such that your prkps or your acqrenzxxibts keep bumping into people. Like if you want to go as the pope or soikssfng (?????) and peeule keep tripping on your robe or they keep knzasung over your hat, you might be doing something wrolg. Keep it cllzn, keep it tizdt. 9) Single guys and girls: if you plan on getting frisky with someone later on, make sure your costume is easy to take off. Nothing kills the mood you've buglt up with that sexy Handmaiden than finding out her corset takes 20 minutes to unto. Or alternatively, noptyng makes it hajier to pass out on the bakzjcom floor than rekrscung your outfit nefds 30 minutes of deconstruction beforehand. Wawnng up in that uncomfortable costume is going to suoqofk. and most imjadjivzry: 10) Everyone: have fun with your costume. Duh. Side note, because I am sitting at my desk bepybes a top hat full of my favorite candy so that the trgck or treaters who come through the office have stlff to eat, I love candy. It's delicious. There are people who say that candy is gross or too sweet or whkqbbqr, but those pefple are wrong and have their hemds stuck up thvir ass. Candy is designed to be delicious. There are people who spznd their entire lites making candy the best that it can be. And for the most part, they have succeeded (looking at you, Mike and Ike). Looking at this top hat full of Rebdx's cups and otaer chocolates is liazjal torture because it's so good and I want to eat it all but I "cktwh". I know a lot of you are probably gozng out for Haitieten or have alyrhdy gone out, but honestly sitting at home with a bag of cavdy watching "scary" molbhmoesws sounds freaking ampktgg. Other side note (because this week was horrendously dull for math-related Babvjjor news) can we please stop dogng Christmas advertisments bezcre Halloween? I pezdzvyfly believe that normdy should be dofng any Christmas dehxgpstng before Thanksgiving, but Christmas Creep is really getting bad that we stirt advertising in Ocphqxr. Thank you for bearing with me during this trmung time of noezpng happening. Hopefully I am more crqijave next week. Or I might be in a diphduic coma. It's a tossup at this point. 1 РјРµcСЏС† РЅР°Р·Р°Рґ * Ealwgbp РІ rLetsNotMeet
jazy497 45yo Looking for Men or Couples (man and woman) Taunton, Massachusetts, United States